Monocle Men

You’re damn right it is.

Still, I has to try it at least once.

Hey you, Neogaf. Approve my account. Seriously, I’ve been waiting for over six fucking months to get approved to your boards. I love you guys with all my heart, I just want to post gifs and complain when the NPD figures show the PS2 outselling the PS3 again.

Seriously, I fucking live for those NPD threads.

So holy crap, apparently if you don’t look at your blog for oh, 2 years, a whole bunch of annoying dicks decide to redecorate the place. And you know annoying dicks, the first thing they look for the the spam swatches.

“Oh yes, some cialis ads would look perfect here on the duvet!”

“Darling, don’t you think that some hot teenage sluts would be great in the kitchen?”

“Oh have you seen the new Louis Vuitton line of celebrity sex tapes? They are just to DIE FOR!”

Read the rest of this entry »

The following was originally posted on 8/17/2006. It is recreated here because it’s the only way to salvage a post ravaged by thousands of spam comments.

So about 2 days ago I’m up rather late and hungry. Being that Tucson business are apparently afraid of the dark, the only thing open at the time is Taco Bell. So while I’m idling in the drive through lane waiting for some dumb kid to try and wrap a burrito (he should have just used staples, he sucked at it), something in the parking lot catches my eye. A pale white teenager, wearing a cape.

A cape.

A fucking cape-wearing goth is hanging out at Taco Bell at one in the morning.

Now, I’ve don’t outright hate teenage goths. Yeah, I know, they look ridiculous. But when I was in high-school, I did some pretty stupid things that I thought looked cool. I won’t elaborate on them here, but suffice to say, I did in fact own and wear a Fedora during the mid-nineties. So I can understand that sometimes, the teenage mind doesn’t comprehend how stupid it can be.

But if you’re “thing” is going to be about how spooky and evil you are, the parking lot of the Taco Bell across from the mall is not the best way to present yourself. I mean, there’s an actual graveyard 3 blocks away from the mall! Go be weepy amongst the tombstones or something.

Although, this does give me an idea to open up a goth themed fast food restaurant. I’m going to call it - Gloomburger.

The following was originally posted on 8/18/2006. It is recreated here because it’s the only way to salvage a post ravaged by thousands of spam comments.

Last night was particularly puzzling. It started with something I don’t usually do, which is dream about scary/disturbing things. Now let me explain that part, it was more like I was in a monster movie - and I was a badass ninja. I was apparently being kept in a compound that was possesed or had some kind of demonic presence because I was fighting demons and demon-augmented individuals (like a normal guy, but with a huge claw, ya dig?).

Now that wasn’t so bad of a dream actually, I got my ass kicked a few times, but I was a freaking ninja that was fighting demons! Pretty cool experience actually. However, at some point I started to realize that it wasn’t just demons I was fighting, but the house that I was in. Apparently the compound I was in was a living entity that was creating the demons as a defensive mechanism, it’s kind of complicated. However, at that exact point in my movie-like dream, I suddenly realized the only way I could free myself and the other hostages (yeah, there were hostages for some reason), was by beating the head demon in a game of baseball!

Sadly, during batting practice, in which I found that at least 3 of my team-mates/hostages were characters from the Sand Lot, I awoke. So I don’t know exactly how the game ended. However, I’ve got a feeling that we won the game after an unlikely home run by the nerdy kid that needed self confidence.

Anyway, this whole ordeal has given me an idea for an excellent screenplay. I think I’m going to try and get David Boreanaz to play me in the movie.

Monoclemen is currently undergoing a reorganizing. Look for new information soon.

I mean, assuming you’re not just an automated script that continuously monitors random domain names.

So it looks like nintendo finally decided to drop all the info on the Wii this last week. I have to say, on the whole, I’m impressed. There’s plenty of controversy to be had, if you’re the type that just doesn’t like to be satisfied.

My only personal gripe is the relatively high price of the controller, when you factor in a Nunchuck. An extra wiimote is pretty much a no brainer, seeing as how the included Wii sports leans itself very easily to multiplayer. Now purchasing just a second wiimote is not a very big deal. However, considering that the boxing game included requires two nunchucks for multiplayer, that means purchasing a second Nunchuck is pretty much required. Had that included game not require the nunchuck, I doubt I would purchase a second one. It just seems pretty obvious that most folks are going to want to give that two player boxing a go.